The Kundalini Shakti Goddess of the Universe Is Rising (Nov-Dec 2019)
OK folks, I just have to dedicate the blog post
on the last two months of the year fully to the Shakti Goddess as Her presence
in my life has been really intense. The
Goddess of the Universe is WOW. There were three specific events when I got
fully shaktivated, namely the Shaktipat Sound Relaxation co-created by Gyani
Grace and awesome Nature Tales guys Jakob and Markus; an Ancient Tantra Kriya
Yoga session with Mikkel and the Goddess Fitness dance led by the wonderful Ida
Kristiane Hulahula.
But my initial experiences with Shakti started further
back in 2016, especially since 2018 when I got initiated by an Arcturian life form in the
body of a French girl called Mégane 😉 on Koh-phangan and my whole stay on
Mother Bali who is the Goddess Herself Shaktivating us. So by now I fully
understand She came through in the Ayahuasca experience, other plant medicine
and all kinds of magical experiences. I can connect with Her inside of me any
time to various degrees. But who is She and how does it feel like when She
flows in you? I can tell you from my own humble perspective and perception of
Her.
Shaktivated
Before the Shaktipat starts I’m already in Her
energy field laying in reclining goddess pose at the end of the yin yoga class.
Feeling the sadness about being disconnected from myself I go look for my inner
child within my heart space. And for the first time I actually see my wise
inner child as a grown up young woman, the Goddess of Gentle Power. She is
smiling and has the ’I got this, I’m unshakable’ feel around Her, together with
so much wisdom, peace and love. Sits on
a golden iron throne with a dolphin and the dragon by her feet. Looks like some
Mayan Goddess. It’s incredible what you can witness in your inner world…
I join the Shaktipat session where Gyani
transmits the Shakti energy and the guys are providing otherworldly beautiful
music for relaxation. Jakob and Markus are so amazing, the Godess loves them to
pieces. Shakti is a Sanskrit word for energy, power, force and in Hindu
traditions refers to the female counterpart of Source Consciousness meaning the
Great Divine Mother, the Cosmic Life Force Energy animating all of life.
Shaktipat means the ’fall of psychic energy’ meaning the transmission of this
psychic energy from one person to another. Upon receiving this energy one can
start having kriyas (action), certain movements, sensations in the body, making
sounds, mudras (symbolic gesture or pose), feel need for stretching or getting
into yoga positions…
As I’ve been initiated earlier the kriyas,
movements, sensations start for me right away without Gyani having to touch me
or come too close to me. The Goddess Shakti is constantly moving, She is
dancing in me and I love it. Hard to put it in words but really fluid movements
like circling with the hips, head, moving like a snake, spiralling with my
hands, stretching my arms as if I was drawing bubbles around me. Moving so
freely like a pure, sensual woman. Her energy is super loving and kind,
incredibly joyful and liberating. She is peaceful choice, pure awareness, total
bliss, innocence. She is rising and recycling like the tides of the ocean with
the moon, constantly swirling as a vortex like the Milky Way galaxy. She is an
unstoppable creative force giving so many insights, sharing wisdom, constantly
giving and creating. Moving in cycles She rests and then rises to share all Her
love again.
Image by unknown artist
She is also a Great Healer without a doubt,
helps to clear karma from your life and heal the pain of this lower, denser 3D
living in polarity, where so much suffering is caused by separation. As I
journey within She shows the inner dragons dwelling in this realm and I get to
ask them why do they feel so much anger, powerlessness, what are they afraid
of? Just like I and so many of us felt like in our childhood: alone with our
fears in the darkness. With no connection, no nurture, no love, no sense of belonging.
Only the feeling of isolation, separation and having to face our pain, our
fears alone. Feeling fear, sadness, anxiety is part of our human life but as
soon as you are seen, heard, accepted, felt, loved by another, there is nothing
that cannot be healed. Your inner dragons are children and angels of the night,
asking for your compassionate attention. We are so one with each other within Source,
that’s why it’s so important for us to have each other as humans on this Earth
plane. To be able to look into each other’s eyes, to hold each other’s hand, to
hug each other, to cry and laugh together. SO WE NO LONGER HAVE TO BE ALONE
WITH OUR FEARS IN THE DARKNESS BUT TOGETHER WITH MY SISTERS AND BROTHERS IN THE
LOVE AND LIGHT.
How to live a grounded life with Her
When you get Shaktivated you feel Her energy
strongly in your system for quite some time.
Actually it’s quite a challenge to ground Her energy. She heightens your
senses, opens your intuition, your psychic abilities, pulling you into growth
and self-expression, wakes you up in the middle of the night… So the nights
following the Shaktipat I find myself outside 3am hugging trees, laying under
the moon on the beach repeating like a mantra ‘Goddess of the Universe have
mercy on us’. 😊 The Moon is calling me, the Water is calling
me, the Forest is calling me, Gaia is calling me, I hear the song of all
Creation expanding my heart. Incredible blessing. Hard to sleep, hard not to
move, even when in bed I feel like being in yoga postures all the time or swirling,
dancing. I wake up to the sensations that I’m floating in space. My soul is
travelling free, even my body enjoys the feeling of levitation but my mind is
freaking out.
In general having an active kundalini can take
quite a toll on the nervous system as the mind can barely keep up with the Life
Force Energy constantly moving you. So is it hard for the body which needs a lot of
rest. This is not to say that the Shakti doesn’t let you rest at all, She just
has her own cycles of rising and recycling which the scheduled rat cage
societal living structure doesn’t support. And just like my teacher says, women
are literally at the mercy of the cycles of nature and the cosmos I got to feel
this very deeply down to my bones. The Shakti also opens your clair senses so
one night I wake up to being clairaudient hearing all the noises in the entire
building block I’m in at 3am.
I also get more clairvoyant than usual which is
not always easy. And just having often a splitting headache or a tension
headache when someone around me starts complaining and vibes with heavy, darker
energies. Wow, I have so much respect for my four teachers who are all very
psychic and have all their clairs open. Pretty intense to live like this all
the time. All these experiences are quite familiar to me from the times of
staying in Bali or having a plant medicine journey. Lucid dreams occur also
more often and so does sleep paralysis as well. More is coming on the blessing
and challenges..:)
Image by unknown artist
Walking from Heaven straight into Hell- yaix
What I find very though is how the darkness is gathering
around Her pure light, constantly trying to feed on Her energy, asking for Her
attention, literally wanting to take Her down. On a human level how the mind
can spiral with fear and the body feeling all the contraction, pain, tensions.
So you got to be wise and responsible not to walk straight into hell when this
strong, pure light is ignited in you. I certainly learned my lessons with that
thanks to my Scorpio Sun who likes to die and rebirth all the time like a
phoenix from the ashes and my lovely Sagittarius Rising who is just recklessly
jumping into all kinds of dark black wormholes and then looks at me with puppy
eyes saying that otherwise Life would be so boring…Oh my Goddess of the
Universe thank you protecting me, what da freakin’ zoo and circus going on.. my
Capricorn, Taurus North node, Virgo MC meaning all my Earth directions, my body
and my mind do not approve. 😅 But so that you understand better what I’m
ranting about, here it comes:
A super challenging
experience
I had a psychedelic experience lasting for 6 hours
where I got pretty clairvoyant and watched the fear, pain, suffering floating
around me. During the Ayahuasca trip I also sensed my fears watching me but
they were quite small, far away, even funny, couldn’t touch me at all. This
time they were much closer to me, however still couldn’t touch me. I witnessed
them floating around me but didn’t engage with them. Was protected by the
Goddess Shakti energy while I was watching an artistic horror movie in a sense.
Luckily I have seen much of it in bits and pieces other times when I got
partially clairvoyant. I’ve often seen clenching teeth, bones, sculls and worse and this time my system was so open that I even
saw malevolent alien beings watching me. So I thought to myself, ah ok, there
we go. Maaaan..
Already when the experience started I heard the voice
inside ‘this is your initiation’ so I kind of knew that whatever was coming is
not gonna be easy but I have the strength to go through it and I am protected.
A pretty ugly truth is that mind control is so real. The fact that we are kept
small and quiet by a grid of fear to make it harder for us to awaken to the
truth of who we really are, to our true power, to our joy and light. All the
more it’s time for us to rise up, grow into our highest version, grandest
vision and really speak out truth. The darkness is teaching the light, our best
ally to awaken to our truth. So after this experience I truly validated my
inner child, really listened to my inner dragon as she expressed her rage,
soothed my mind with breathing, sounding, caressing and validation that this
was a difficult experience for both my nervous system and my body and learned a
hard but valuable lesson.
Illustration by John Bauer (1915) nice trolls are taking care of the Fairy Princess :)
There were surely many amazing moments of this
experience too. I received an insight about my human mum that she just wanted
to protect me and keep me safe, it was very nurturing to hear this, also tell it
to her as the relationship between us could use more healing. Now I’m a grown
up young woman kept safe by the Shakti in me, who helps me grown into my highest
potential, so I get to see how my talents, gifts shine through. Another awesome
moment was when I could truly find my strong voice, stand up for myself with a
very straight spine, demanded that boundaries are respected otherwise this is
not good enough for me and I’m leaving. This was also super healing as the old
collective programming wanting us to stay small, quiet and feel unsafe,
dependant is still trying to hold on to
us, but times are changing. We are growing, awakening to our power, speaking
with a loud and clear voice. For our feminine human selves giving a voice to
our inner power dragon gives a great foundation to sit on with joy and freedom which
all are alchemized into peace, love and gentle power.
It’s all coming together
After this experience I decided for a healing session to help me integrate so I asked my favourite practitioner, Jana to guide me. (Find her on FB https://www.facebook.com/liberateyourself.de/ ) She is rightfully known for facilitating very deep transformational shifts on multidimensional levels. So we dove deep and worked on a negative core belief and emotional wound that taking care of myself means being alone. This keeps recurring as layers of the origional separation and loneliness wound heals. My higher self shows over and over again how I will never be alone by having my soul with me, my heart and womb giving home to the Divine Feminine and the Heales Inner Child. We also address the discernment, unravelled the entanglements and looked into how the womb, gut, heart and mind can be aligned and work together as an awesome, unified team. So I was inspired afterwards to write again about these different energies living in me:
“The Dragon living in the root base and
the gut of my body, who always felt so trapped, so much rage/powerlessness/pain
and heaviness, not having voice and canvas to express herself and...🐉🧝♀
️
The Dolphin living in the crown top of my head who has been feeling so free, so full of joy, so light lately... 🐬🧚♀️
Have started dancing together in the Milky Way Vortex of Love and Peace of my Heartspace. There they are spiralling, merging, learning to trust each other, create together and rest together by the golden iron throne of the Goddess of Gentle Power." 💗
Image by unknown artist
To understand better how my womb, gut,
heart and mind can be aligned and work together as unified team I get further
help from the wonderful Beate to look at these different parts of me in
Constellation. My mind is like a magical labyrinth, a hall of mirrors which can
hold many perspectives, potentials, process information and act on decisions
that are preferably made in deeper places like womb, heart or the gut. My heart
is very big, open, spacious and swirls with beautiful colours of orange, green,
gold, pink and purple. My heart loves to work together with my womb and helps
me discern how to connect with different people.
Apparently my gut felt neglected compared
to my womb and heart and expressed that it feels like a really useful employee
who is not utilized. It could really help me with sustaining myself on the
physical plane, meaning how to earn enough for food, shelter and so on. It
really wants me to listen more to its impulses and I would like to. And there
is my wonderful womb wrapped in orange, bordeaux colours with a strong white
light in the middle where the tree fairy queen lives. My womb feels so old with
so much wisdom and is very connected to Gaia. Such a blessing which I believe all
of us women have. Oh yes and unsurprisingly above my head swims a dolphin in
infinity sign, in glittering pink and purple haze.😀 So overall it feels
pretty light and playful to be me and it’s important for me to keep moving.
Image from the FB page: Encoded Frequency Message
Kundalini Rising once again
This time in the Ancient Tantra Kriya Yoga session
guided by Mikkel, who is such an amazing conscious, divine masculine holding firm, safe, trusting, grounded, loving, intuitive
space with very pure and clear intentions. Now this was another mind blowing
experience. The kundalini really showed me how it feels to be fully in the body. How it feels to
have your Soul embodied, perceive all sensations somatically. Helped me really
feel the healthy, solid heaviness of being grounded and the freedom and
childlike joy of my higher self are merged in my heart into peace, love and
contentment. It was also so palpable to feel how the two serpents were spiralling up around my
spinal cord, the kundalini healing and removing the blockages in the body.
The Shakti is
once again moving so fluidly, unstoppably, she is such a kind, loving,
wonderful healer. She talks to me throughout the whole session, gives me
insights again. I’m telling her how much I love her and how grateful I am but
it would also be nice to wind down bit and get some rest for my body and my
mind. 😅 And then She says, 'ok, ok just hold on a little bit
longer while we clear a bit more from your childhood, for your mum and aunties'.
She is basically healing my female linage God bless the Goddess of the
Universe. Aaannd after this amazing kundalini activation I don’t march straight
into hell, wooohooo, on the very contrary my cuddle buddy took care of me who
has so much experience with kundalini awakening and holds space so patiently
for the Shakti in me to quiet down and allow me to fall asleep and rest. Amazing
experience overall, feeling safe not just during but after the experince too. Thank you Divine Masculine! Way to go about it.
Third time Shaktivated with another stroll to hell
The third time I
felt intensely Shaktivated happened in the Goddess Fitness dance session led by
Ida who is total Goddess herself so no surprises here. The different types of
music meant to help us connect with the different faces of the Goddess energy
within. I feel my connection to Gaia so strongly which really
touches my heart, I travel back to a past/parallel life in India so full of joy. But interestingly the music invoking the warrior Goddess Kali has the biggest
impact on me. I love this song, Trøllabundin by Eivør and listen to it
regularly ever since:
Really feeling
the power, the importance of boundaries and that I’m also on a mission to bring
something to this world, to take a stand, to use my voice loud and clear.
Putting creations in the world with confidence, determination, with the ‘This
is Who I Am-Meet Me There ’, ‘I got this’ kind of loving power. Such amazing
insights, my system is again even more open than usual, I’m even more sensitive
to my environment so you’d think that I learned my lesson to stay away from
unconscious energies….but no, Liya is packing her lunchbox in her backpack and
enters the Valley of the Shadow of Death in search of monsters, zombies,
skeletons, snakes, frightening creatures with glowing eyes. 😅 Oh, Goddess of
the Universe why this naïve, sweet, innocent energy? Must be the fool from the
Tarot.
OK but jokes and
theatrical elements aside the night after I’m again awake. The Shakti is
moving, dancing, playing, having the time of her life, anything but sleeping.
She is super sweet, creative and childlike. But suddenly my human self picks up on some energies and starts going into fear and anxieties around being disturbing, too
much, too restless, not feeling approved, accepted. With this open, sensitive
system and fearful mind I’m a perfect target for darker, shadow energies and it
literally feels like energetic snakes entering my aura. My body gets paralyzed,
so contracted, full of tension and pain. My mind is silently screaming, I again
get the image with my mind’s eye of teeth and jaws clenching in my headspace.
Somehow I fall asleep amidst of what it feel like torture, really traumatizing.
The next day I’m
so drained, depleted, still tensed up and super exhausted. The next night thank
the Goddess I get 11 hours of sleep and feels like I’m slowly recovering from
the experience but the following night brings a nightmare again. I experience
the longest sleep paralysis ever with ‘an old friend’ visiting again from the
astral plane. Pretty unpleasant visit. Basically what happens is that your body
feels paralyzed, you literally cannot move and you are in this in between dream
and awake state. Conscious but not fully. I’ve had a few sleep paralyses before and
could get out by mentioning Christ consciousness (which is usually the jolly
joker card for making lower astral beings leave) or stating my identity clearly
just like I learned from Gigi but this time none of these worked. It felt incredibly long and the only way I
could get out was to say: ‘this is just a dream’. I get out of bed right after
to finally move my body and my mind was blown again how strong I am. I’s rather
ask for mercy than strength though. My fellow healer, light worker friends also
often ask the Universe to be gentle..
Artwork by Carolin Arcabacio
But I certainly
had to have a conversation/ integration process with the shadow aspect visitor.
I interacted with him many times during my life, and so did many of my friends.
So he came and ‘sat on me’ (many having sleep paralysis experience report as if
an entity was sitting on them, not allowing them to move) and said he wants destroy
me, feed on my bones and my energy. By now I learned so well that there’s only
love and fear in this Universe and that these beings are terrified children and
fallen angels of the nights so I asked him what he is afraid of. Unsurprisingly
he said that he is afraid of loosing connection, not feeling belonging,
acceptance, love. Poor children, the strong without the bond are always the
prime targets. So once again there is a couple of ways to go about this. Hugging
he starving child to us or ‘making love’ to these ‘broken’ aspects so they
feels fully accepted (trying to fix them only creates resistance) or when no
energy for integration work then simply sending them back to source
consciousness of love and light. I prefer the latter, not giving too much time
and energy if you need it for more constructive projects about your own life
instead of healing shit for others. Boundaries….
Amazing coming back home once again
Thanks to the
Goddess within and to my amazing cuddle buddy I find my way back home again. In
the Magic Circle he guides a grounding meditation where we first sink into our
bodies, gaze into the candle light and bring the candle into our heart space.
So I take this light and go searching for the Inner Child Goddess again. In sad
times when I feel disconnected my heart space feels like a tomb with no life in
it. Just dark, cold, tight and empty instead of light, spacious full of life
and warmth like a throne room.
So I hold the
candle light and suddenly my Inner Goddess looks right into my eyes and says:
“I took care of the snakes while you were asleep.” Holy cows! Mind blown again
a million times. On the top of this gentle power She radiates when She goes
into inner child mode she is so much fun! For example She shows me images of
snakes bumping into Her golden iron throne and dropping dead. LOL or even
funnier she is folding balloon snakes into those animal balloons like a circus
princess. Wow, just wow. Hmm yeah, staying
grounded in your power is where you should set boundaries from. Feels so
amazing again to be so heavy and grounded in the body, being present and
witnessing from that place instead of being reactive,allowing mind chattering,
arguing or overgiving.
Image from the FB page: Encoded Frequency Message
Some more on the shadows and their trying to have a grip
There are certain shadow energies the Divine
Feminine doesn’t go well together obviously. Just like previously described She
is very free, joyful, fluid, loving, kind, creative, wise, peaceful; at least
that’s how I perceive Her light when She is expressed in me and sense in my
soul family too. When this soft kindness is met with harshness, threats, power
plays, ego games, defensiveness, projection, unevolved lower consciousness,
dishonesty and so forth, there cannot be a vibrational match understandably.
Another notion I observe from the shadow energies is when they cannot handle Her joy, freedom, purity, constant movement
and they want to hold Her down so She cannot move freely; they cannot handle
Her wisdom either and want Her to stay small and quiet. The shadows constantly
want to disapprove Her, reject Her, push her down, control Her. This was a very
important message in the Ayahuasca journey as well, that I should always stay
true to myself and allow myself to express my joy, my voice freely as that’s
what I’m here for. That’s how I help others remember how we are all joy and
light. If others are triggered by that, it’s their opportunity to look at what
separates them from their own joy and reconnect with it. But every time I make
myself small and quite it brings sadness to me and doesn’t help my environment
either.
And yes, I can also very viscerally feel it in
on the right side of my body, in my toe, heart space, shoulder etc when I meet
this heavy, shadow energy. It’s my responsibility to remove myself from it
unless I chose to use my energy on dancing with it and integrating. But I have
made the choice to bring the love and light and use this wonderful creative
energy for something constructive as it’s a much more healing service both to
myself and others. Another good indication of toxic interactions in my life is
when I feel sad, tired, depleted, exhausted after the time spent together or
get into situations like the sleep paralysis or need for healing session. Again
better to stay away and also staying strong and grounded in my core with clear
boundaries expressed with a strong voice.
Another recurring experience I can’t help but
notice is when you as woman truly need to rest and go within because you’re on
your period or you worked quite much and there is this cruel perfection voice pushing
you to do more. To do the laundry, to clean up, to get up to work more…it just
doesn’t allow you to rest. I’m wondering what crappy voice is that from some
old collective shit. So many women are really exhausted and surely it’s not the
interest of the shadow to let them rest so they can access their creative
power. So I’m also learning to allow myself to rest and really taking the time
to be with myself. Especially as the feminine energy moves in cycles and after
the rest it always rises again to create more.
I just love the Goddess Shakti
To end on a really high note I just want
express how grateful I am and how much I love to work for and with the Goddess
in my life. She is the one who pulls me to lead the women’s wellbeing practices
in the women’s sharing circle. To show 20 girls how to insert a yoni egg in the
pussy right there and then, how to enjoy the self-breast massage with pleasure,
how to feel so free and natural topless among the sisters, how to dance around
sensually like a lovely wild woman, to openly share about how to embrace your
menstruation on an even deeper level, how to connect with your womb, your
feminine essence. And when the girls bring cinnamon rolls shaped as yonis
(vagina) and breast to the season ending holiday celebration then I know I did
a good job getting out of the way and letting the Shakti Goddess work through
me in magical, wonderful ways and I’m so in my element as human, so grateful,
so joyful.
She is also there as an amazing healer working
through us when we collaborate with soul sister Mayra on a womb connection-womb
healing ceremony so the Goddess can work so much healing and letting go to the
sisters’ life. She is so much there when we reunite and do healing work on each
other with two of my closest soul sisters Line and Paulinka. The Goddess Shakti
brings us together, we communicate with each other without words, we cry and
laugh and dance together as we recognize our path and home within each other, we
have so much compassion for each other of what we’ve been through, we remember
our past/parallel lives together.
This writing is
really a tribute to the Kundalinin Shakti Goddess Mother of the freakin’
Universe who is rising again and again and this time thousands of us will not
be burnt as witches because the New Earth is here already where the Divine
Masculine and Divine Feminine is co-creating peacefully by each of them
standing in their own respective power and uniting in love. Together in love
and light.
Some music from the Shakti to the Shakti :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLj5sBfGuQY Tina Turner I don't wanna loose you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7vRSu_wsNc Prince Raspberry Beret
Some more from lovely Ida's Goddess Fitness class:
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